Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

      PAGE TWENTY-SEVEN

These classifieds were really put in the paper.


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog ...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG . Looks like a rat . Been out a while. Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Contributed by Nina Faundez - Ohio

2008 - L: 90 year old West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd longest serving Senator in the history of The U.S. Senate. Thus far 49 years. 2008 - Last surviving U.S. WW I veteran 106 year old Frank Buckles of West Virginia. Born 1901. Joined the army at age 16.

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